Author’s Note: Hi guys! I’m sorry I’ve been really MIA lately with posting my posts on here and I know a lot of you are frustrated and wanted to read more. I’ve been really in my head and wanted to get away from a while. I was less talkative to many and just wanted to sleep and do nothing.
But I’m starting to get back on my feet. I just finished my last therapy session and I’m feeling a lot better.
So please enjoy the story. This is the final part of the Fake. Thanks!
We were voted best couple. This is the worst thing that can ever happen to me.
I know things are getting better with T and I. But I also knew it was the end of everything.
I was ready to graduate and have a fresh new start from awful people, rumors, and crappy boyfriend and just everything that is shit to me.
It was the weekend before our senior activity. We were going to do a little dance on a cruise ship. And I wasn’t all that happy because I noticed a lot of people who I called “my friends” were distancing from me. I’m not really sure why. But I honestly was ready for high school to be over.
My weekend was quiet, and I was drinking a bit and was just talking to my sister. My big sister knew how T was treating me and wanted me to break up a long time ago. But I was too kind. And I was getting taken advantage of.
I blame myself and I let it happen.
I finally got a whole lot of courage (probably from the alcohol) to just call my boyfriend and break up with him. I didn’t want to do it through the phone. And I knew that everything I tried to break up with him, he threatened to kill himself.
What type of person puts their loved one in that position??
So I called him and ask him what he’s doing and who he is with. He told me he was with my mom and sister at home chilling. And then I just said it.
“I’m breaking up with you. I’m done. Please leave me alone and don’t call me or talk to me. I want space and you know why.”
I let him say his piece and cry. But i really didn’t care. I was numbed out. He numbed me out.
I hung up the phone and I felt like everything in this world was not against me. I felt free and happy. I was wrong. I was too naive.
I got a call from his sister the day after and she was yelling at me and swearing. And I thought she and I were friends. Not to mention, she has always hated her brother and I was the one that brought them together and made them into a family again. I was that tie. And now she is defending him that I could have caused him to kill himself and asking me why would I ever do that to someone.
Like she ever knew her brother was a selfish piece of shit that like to hit his girlfriend, force her to not go to school, getting bad grades, and just being plain scary and mean and using his girlfriend to do homework.
I blame myself too. Im sure many of you who are reading would be like… “well.. you enabled him. You let him do it” I blamed myself so many everyday about why and how I could have avoided this.
But now that I’m grown, all I can think of was, “what type of parent or guardian or older sister or brother would let their son or brother do that to someone else?”
They are mad at me for hurting him for letting him hurt me. As if I created him to be that way.
I do understand that some times, people turn out the way they do not because of their family or people around them. They just turn. But who are we to blame each other… What good does it do?
So after getting an earful from T’s sister. I said Fuck you and hung up. That’s it.
It felt like it was the first time I can smile again and finally be me.
It was the weekday again and the senior class is boarding to the cruise ship for our little senior party. I was sitting by myself with another girl, I’ll call her K. We never really hung out or spoke to each other before, but she was kind enough to be there with me and talk to me. It felt like I was making a new friend.
The ship was started to move and I walked over to the bathroom and when I came back my phone was gone from my bag.
I looked everywhere for it and then T appeared in front of me and said, “I want to talk to you. If we talk, I can give you your phone back”
No. Give it back. I have nothing to say to you. There’s no reason for me to talk to you or to fix anything.
Please, I just want to work things out and be together again. Like old times.
Leave me ALONE AND GIVE ME MY PHONE BACK.
I ran toward him and K held him back (she’s such a good friend) and I got my phone back. I told him to get out of my sight and leave me alone.
That didn’t sit well with all those vultures in my school who happen to really like my now-ex.
I went upstairs of the ship, to avoid the drama and to just sun bath and have a good time in the sun. I was hanging out with a a few friends of mine (that I can proudly say, I’ve been friend over 7 to 8 years now). I decided to go downstairs after relaxing a while and I noticed everyone ganging up on me.
There was this guy who happens to really like my ex, his name is R and his posse that was behind him saying I was a slut and that I shouldn’t treat T the way I did because I cheated.
I was baffled and confused.
The day I was raped, I told my now ex that I was taken advantaged of and now he’s spreading around the school that I was a slut and that I cheated on him and that’s why I’m better off without him and that I was a cheater.
I can not believe this.
It was so stupid and painful that it was almost laughable.
Among R’s posse, one of my best friends (who I thought) was there and she didn’t defend me. She didn’t back me up and she knew me all these years. She knew how he was being mean to me and was hurting me physically. She knew all of us but was too scared to stand up for me.
I was heart broken. I wanted to die. I value friendships very much and I was betrayed so many times. I walked away and kept to myself. And from there, K (the girl I never was friends with or talked to), she told me, “I don’t know you that well. But no one deserves this. I don’t think you did anything wrong.” I cried and she took me home (we apparently lived next to each other.
Time passed, and I was just waiting for my high school graduation to be over. I lost most of my friends and a lot of the kids at my school was cyber bullying me on Facebook, and Tumblr. It was a tough pill to swallow. But I did it.
I walked across the staged, but luckily, I still had friends from other schools and colleges that were there to support me. My parents were there and was so happy and proud of me and everything will be okay.
It’s been…. almost 7 years since that has happened. And I just can’t believe how long I have endured this story in my heart and how much it still hurt when I wrote this.
Thank you for reading. But there are more stories to come.
See you guys soon!